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Targa Italia kitchen in a box
21. September 2009


Love things in boxes; kittens, lunches, the charred remains of my foes, you get the idea.  So when I saw this Targa Italia kitchen in a box, I was like: “IMMA BUY ME ONE”, but I’d carelessly forgotten that I’d actually spent all the money I had investing in the ill-fated west-end production of Deal or No Deal: The Musical, with Christopher Biggins as The Banker.  Still, I can still show you suckers.  If you do have the money to throw at this, then wait a second before you do, because I’ve got a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity for you.  Read more after the jump.

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$47,147 Poseidon outdoor heater
18. September 2009


Wow, $50,000.  That buys you a lot, you know.  It will buy you an entry-level luxury car, a kick-ass holiday, or it can get you bail from, well, legally speaking I’m not allowed to say what from.  So if you’re going to buy a patio heater for $50,000, it better be the best damn patio heater in the universe.  This is the Poseidon, and I’m pretty sure I saw this being pitched on Dragon’s Den (American readers, think American Inventor, except not as mercilessly stupid) and as I recall, the guy pitching it came off as a massive asshole.  Still, an asshole with the best patio heater in the universe.  They can’t take that away from you.  Read more after the jump.

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Bye bye Briatore
17. September 2009


Flavio Briatore stepped down today as head of the Renault F1 team amid accusations of race fixing, citing a moral obligation to spare his employers further humiliation following the allegations of race-fixing associated with Nelson Piquet Jr’s crash in Singapore last year, benefiting the team’s other driver Fernando Alonso who went on to win the race.  Now I whole heartedly approve of his record with beautiful models, but this douchebag is about as trustworthy as that Thai masseuse.  I thought happy ending meant she just wanted to cheer me up.  Read more after the jump.

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Here’s a picture of Barack Obama with a lightsaber
17. September 2009


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Sorry internet, hella busy right now.  Posts soon.  In the mean time enjoy this picture of Obama with a lightsaber.

Prince Harry inherits millions, lucky bastard
16. September 2009


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Prince Harry is set to inherit £9m from his mother, Princess Diana, having turned 25 yesterday.  Whilst he’s got to wait until he’s thirty before he can get his ginger mits on it, he will earn over £300,000 worth of interest each year on the sum.  There isn’t really much more news on this than what I’ve already mentioned, and I’m desperately scratching my head trying to come up with a good joke on Prince Harry.  Maybe I’ll just bellyflop and say that Harry fits right into the army because he’s thick, racist, and has no idea who his dad is.  Legal update:  ALLEGEDLY, LAWYERS.

Bugatti saloon concept looks like a fucking disaster
16. September 2009


I was going to save up all my car excitement/venom (but mainly excitement) for an uber post later this week, but I just saw this and was compelled to share this with you.  Maybe instead of “share” I mean “warn”.  WTF are Bugatti thinking?  Maybe if it was some aftermarket crap from Dubai or something I could understand.  Read more after the jump.

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WIN
15. September 2009


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Patrick Swayze dies at 57
15. September 2009


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Patrick Swayze, for many one of Hollywood’s greatest leading men, has died following a long battle with pancreatic cancer. Jennifer Grey, who co-starred with Swayze in Dirty Dancing led the many tributes from stars and co-stars, releasing a statement that said: “Patrick was a rare and beautiful combination of raw masculinity and amazing grace.” It was reported that some days ago, he had left hospital to be at home with his wife, Lisa Niemi.

God I hope this Kanye thing becomes a huge meme
14. September 2009


Kanye is a douchebag. A douchebag with big balls.
14. September 2009


It was the MTV Video Music Awards last night, and Kanye, already king of the award show douchebags managed to fuck up again by storming on stage and talking jive.  The incident occurred during the acceptance speech of mouselike and impossibly cute country singer Taylor Swift, who was awarded best female video.  Kanye grabbed the mic to announce that fellow nominee Beyoncé had “one of the greatest videos of all time,” in “Single Ladies.”  Ow.  Poor Taylor was probably a hair’s breadth away from bursting into floods of tears.  “I was standing on stage and I was really excited because I’d just won the award and then I was really excited because Kanye West was on stage,” Swift recalled after the show. “And then I wasn’t excited anymore after that.”  Was pretty funny though, in the sense that only Kanye would have the magic formula of fearlessness and profound lack of foresight to be able to jump up and piss all over someone’s career highlight.  A Possible reason behind Kanye’s outburst after the jump.

 

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