Imagine a pitch by a digital marketing agency.  “So Cadbury, to bring back the Wispa chocolate bar, we’re going to get one and cover it in gold.  Then, we tell the internet, and they go crazy for it.”  “But that’s not a very inventive idea, practically every promotional product recently has been covered in gold, jewels, or something similar.”  “The internet will for any old shit, trust us.”  And so here we are.  There’s a chocolate bar, it’s a re-released Wispa Gold, and it’s covered in gold, blah blah blah, it’s the most expensive chocolate bar now.  Thus the mission has been successful.  Uninventive marketing ploy traps me into writing about uninventive and will-to-live-shortening story.  Read more after the jump.

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The Maltese Falcon has, according to the Times, been sold for $100 million.  That’s a lot, don’t get me wrong, but it was listed at one point for $165 million.  Man, what a boat.  Nothing terribly snarky to say quite frankly, this thing is amazing, and can cross the Atlantic in 10 days.  The owner, epic VC Tom Perkins admits to the Times “It has taken a while…It is not the best time in the world to sell it.”  Well, no shit Tom, but $100 million will still get you that donkey sanctuary we all know you’ve had your eye on.  Read more after the jump.

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Louis Vuitton Chopsticks.  Could they be real?  Well, lets visualise this as a venn diagram.  On the left we have countries who love chopsticks, and on the right we have countries who love counterfeiting luxury goods.  Oh.  Guess that settles it then.  It’s fairly safe to assume that they came from China.  Read more after the jump.

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I know I’ve already done something car-y today, but I just came across this.  Ok.  It’s a flying car.  I’m no aeronautical engineer, but where exactly are the fucking wings on this thing.  You seriously expect me to buy into this?  More after the jump.

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Remember when we were all like OMG TIHS IS TEH MOST EXPENSIVE CAR EVAR! And you were all like OMG LIKE TOTALLY.  And then we were all like NO WAIT SRSLY TIHS IS TEH MOST EXPENSIVE CAR NAO.  Then you we’re all like O YEA.  Well looks like there’s another chapter to this warm and compelling story.  Here’s another car that is set to become to the most expensive car in the world.  Wish I’d get memos on these things.  This is the moderately famous Star of India, which will be going at auction.  It’s A one-off 1934 Phantom II 40/50 HP Continental “All-Weather Convertible,” made for the Maharaja of Rajkot. Priced at €10 million (over $14,000,000), it’ll be the most expensive car in the world, and then groundhog day can begin again.  More pics and a video after the jump.

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Wowsers.  £10,000.  Just before I launch into this, if I bought a whisky that was 50 years old for an extortionate sum, I would carbon date the living hell out of it.  If it was even a day younger than promised, I’d hunt those bastards down.  So William Grant & Sons Distillers Ltd are releasing 500 bottles of a 50 year old Glenfiddich for £10,000 ($16,000) a piece.  So what do you get for your money?  Read more after the jump.

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Combining two of my great loves, typography and warmth, this wall-mounted radiator spells “hot” in red when it gets hot.  I mean I don’t think it really needs any more explanation than that.  Read more after the jump.

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I can never quite work out if I find Lily Allen attractive.  It’s a gentle face, not unreasonable figure, mildly pathetic love me/I don’t care kind of attitute, but cute, I suppose.  Hmmm.  Will report back on this with a definitive answer.  Anyway, it’s been quite hush-hush, but Lily has been working with Mugatu (Karl Lagerfeld) because she’s fronting a new Chanel Bag range which I’m sure will change the world.  Read more after the jump.

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I found this curious item with the Italian caption “Bucket spazzatura luxury”.  Spazzura.  Brilliant.  More than an adequate title for this.  Of course, it’s by an artist, along the lines of “let’s make something mundane and cheap insanely expensive”.   Swiss artist Sylvie Fleury has slapped 24 karat gold onto the cheapest possible garbage can (she’s thinking of her bottom line, of course) and charging suckers who are enlightened enough to recognise inherent value in meaningless crap $10,000 and $15,000 to buy one.  Sign me up!  Read more after the jump.

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Has there been a tear in the space-time continuum?  No, here are some Gucci cufflinks.  I don’t remember really featuring anything Gucci-based on Scumbag before.  There’s no punchline there, I think it’s just fact.  You know what else is fact?  Reading makes you smarter, and broadens your horizons.  Stay in school.  Read more after the jump.

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