Dios Mio. I’m writing this on an iBook that dates back to the neolithic period, because both of my computers have died in the space of a couple of days. FFS. Really irritates me that something you spend a lot of money on goes tits up. Probably what Orlando Bloom feels like right now. His Hollywood Hills home was robbed, and its reported that around $500,000 in jewellery, cash, and artwork was stolen. Wow. That’s a lot of money. He’s going to need to get another trilogy to make back that amount. How does this man get so many trilogies? In Pirates of the Caribbean he was so wooden I thought someone threw a chair into the room. Read more after the jump.

Paris Hilton got her ass robbed too last year for around $2m. Seems like the problem is that these crafty robbers know where these exceptionally rich, stupid and largely absent celebrities live. Good job I live in a James Bond-style lair underground. I mean, there aren’t any henchmen or rockets or femmes fatales, just a strong smell of stale alcohol and urine. I suppose it’s more of a subway, actually.